Monday, November 05, 2007

I EAT. THEREFORE I AM.

So...I'm going to dinner tonight with a friend I haven't seen in a long time- but who at one point was a Very Good Friend. I am excited to see her. HOWEVER, I am filled with apprehension about one aspect of the reunion.

This friend is one of those Tiny People. TINY. Now, I have no problem with Tiny People as long as the Tiny Person in question can put away some chow like a champ. Because I can put away some chow like a champ. I am a Food Queen. Anything daring to refer to itself as Entertainment should have food involved- and I have trained myself in Food Stamina and Endurance accordingly throughout my life time. When I go out to eat, I EAT. And I don't like to go out with those who don't, cause what fun is that? Not fun at all, I tell you. It's like trying to get excited about the Crate and Barrel Holiday Inventory (very excited!) with a 19 Year Old Frat Boy- it just doesn't work. You have nothing in common.

Soooo....the problem is that I can't remember (we haven't hung out in almost 6 years) whether this is one of those Tiny People who stays tiny due to Freakishly Wicked Metabolism or one of those Tiny People who stays tiny due to the fact that she Just Doesn't Eat. Its a concern, for we're going to this Mexican restaurant where I am planning to, not only gorge myself on chips as soon as I arrive, but also order something Totally Disgusting And Hopefully Smothered In Cheese.

So...if she's one of those Just Doesn't Eat People- it will ruin my evening of Friendship Rekindling and Gluttony- and I don't want to have that severe a grievence against an Old Friend. I really don't.



Update- Tiny Friend proved to be still tiny but also accomplished in the art of Putting Away Food. Success! I knew she had to be my friend for a reason. I mean...would I actually associate myself long term with someone who Doesn't Eat?! The answer to that is no. No I would not.

2 comments:

Noelle said...

I'd just eat. I am a clean my plate kinda gal, and those who don't kind of intimidate me as well. My advice is to just show her a thing or two, and maybe throw in a short lecture about starving kids in Southeast Asia.

Hope said...

Hahaha, yeah, that's what I syked myself up for on the drive down. Turns out it was fine- she's a Tiny Person who can eat. :) I knew we were friends for a reason. The starving kids lecture is a good one!