Today is November 30 which means....NABLOPOMO is at an end! WOOHOO! Ring the bells! Sound the retreat!
Why the excitement you say? Why should I be excited about something I most certainly half-assed anyway? Why? WHY?!
Because even though I half-assed (and that's...literally half-assed...I don't think I posted even HALF of 30 posts during the month of November) it still caused me stress and anxiety when I would occasionally remember that I was supposed to be participating- reminding me that I was not even TRYING to make an effort. And that for every day that I was not posting- not even TRYING to post- after saying that I would at least try- I was FAILING.
But...then I thought, you know...instead of feeling like a Failure, I should feel like a Success! Because I am being a Success at Failing! And I should rejoice that I am proving to myself and others that I have not become Someone I'm Not. Someone that "wins" or "puts forth a lot of effort" or "gives a crap". I am, as I have always been and hopefully will always be, a Quitter.
I Procrastinate ("I can't post now! My hair needs to be checked thoroughly for split ends!" or "I can't post now! My shoe laces are in obvious need of being unlaced and then laced again!"). I Make Excuses ("Uh...my charger broke...causing me to lose so much momentum that I just can not possibly be expected to pick back up in two hours when my laptop finishes recharging. I just can not possibly recover from that kind of a set back. Honestly.")
And when it comes down to it, I'm just plain Lazy. Why post when you could...uh...not post?
I never have. Some might say that makes me a "slacker" or an "underachiever". Someone who's "going nowhere". But you know what I say? I say it makes me "consistent".
So I may be a Quitter, but I'm always a quitter. No surprises here. Nope. Not a one. What I have not accomplished today I will not have accomplished tomorrow. Or a week from now. Or when I'm 60.
You can have your "goals" and your "satisfaction at a job well done".
When you're old and worn out and tired of carrying around the burden of your many achievements, you can leave your penthouse, sell your personal jet, and come hang out with me. You'll be able to find me. Just look around. I'll be the one smiling, with my feet up...
...livin' in that van down by the river.