MY ABOVE AVERAGE WORK ETHIC
As I was in the middle of the below conversation over email with The Only Person At Work I Socialize With- we'll call her TOPAWISW for the purpose of this narration- a realization came to me. That realization was that I have a fantastic work ethic. Really. It's fantastic. Or at least highly above average. Consider the following:
Picture Hope...sitting at her desk hard at work. Staring at the computer until her eyes are sore. Painstakingly finding the important information that her boss had asked her for. Working hard so that she can get that information to her boss in a timely fashion. Searching...searching...searching for...wait...that's not a spreadsheet! Thats The Superficial up on Hope's screen! And...she's not emailing the information that she painstakingly found for her boss...she's emailing a friend?! A friend that works just one office over and is ALSO supposed to be working?!! What?!
This is hilarious.
TOPAWISW: That is the WORST picture I have EVER seen of either one of those super-tramps!
And it’s a funny story to boot.
HOPE: I know! Talk about Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. Or DUMB as the case may be. Denise definitely found someone more her speed in Pam (new BFF) than in Heather L (ex BFF). Not that Heather L comes across as a rocket scientist…but definitely seems brighter than Denise and Pam. I think Heather’s better off without her Ex-BFF.
This is of course because I know them personally and can make such a judgment.
TOPAWISW: True that!
AND…pam and denise look HAGGARD!!! Is that what having kids does to you or is that just naked aging? Cuz what ever it is – it’s grim.
HOPE: I think its naked aging AND having 70’s/80’s combination hair. It is grim…I agree with you there. Maybe, at least in Pam’s case, when you have giant fake boobs, you feel you don’t have to worry about your face because you think nobody’s looking at it anyway.
TOPAWISW: I think that you have hit the nail on the head, my friend.
I have so much energy right now. I am kind of scaring myself. It must have been that walk I took. I have not hit the 3 o’clock slump yet. I actually feel productive – call Guinness!
HOPE: Whoa. Slow down man! You’re not used to this pace! You’ll hit a wall! You have to work UP to that level of productivity…you can’t just go right to the top- your body will rebel!
TOPAWISW: I will CRASH pretty hard this evening. I just know it. Oh my God! Maybe this is the key to a good night’s sleep!
HOPE: You may gain the key to a good night’s sleep but think of what you’ll be LOSING. You would be losing your Slacker Status. And then you could no longer be my BFF I’m afraid…
TOPAWISW: Painting one picture does not necessarily make me a painter.
I do not ever see this condition repeating itself. My slacker privileges will be safe, I assure you.
HOPE: That's a relief- I can't have the only person I socialize with at work be someone who actually WORKS!