Wednesday, November 22, 2006


HIGH POWERED JOBS: Better to stay at the bottom where you 're not actually RESPONSIBLE for anything

DIAMONDS: Only stupid people would pay 10,000 dollars for something that can't be distinguished from broken glass except by a microscope. Think of all the fries that money can buy.

Which brings us to...

GOURMET MEALS: A basket o' fries with a side of blue cheese dressing to dip them in is better, cheaper, and more filling.

SHEETS WITH A RIDICULOUSLY HIGH THREAD COUNT: One word people, and that word is flannel.

PROFESSIONALLY DECORATED BOUDOIRS: Why pay through the nose so you can wake up and think you're at the local Holiday Inn?

EXPENSIVE SHOES: Cheap ones are better for throwing at someone' s head. There isn' t that two second delay where you worry about harming the expensive shoe- during which delay your target could move causing you to miss.

DESIGNER HANDBAGS: People either assume it's fake, which looks tacky, or real, which looks you care too much what people think.* Often times, the buyer is so caught up with the name, they forget a very important point: the bag is just ugly. Exhibit A
*the only exception to this is vintage louis vuitton because it's classic

1 comment:

Noelle said...

I don't get diamonds. I can't tell the difference between zarconia and the real thing, and I like colored stones better anyway. Who are you trying to impress, anyway? Gormet meals however, I love. Otherwise, I'm totally down with your list!